About
Who am I and why am I writing this blog?
Answering these questions is turning into a contemplation of anatta, the Buddhist concept of no self. There is no “Me” that can be summed up succinctly in a couple of paragraphs.
I can tell you about the Me who was raised in the Unitarian Universalist church, deep in conservative Christian Texas, and how I gradually came to identify myself as an atheist and then a Buddhist (it is possible to be both, by the way). There is the pediatrician-Me who went to medical school and is now the nemesis of small children everywhere. And, then there is the Momma-Me with two daughters, one of whom has a genetic disorder characterized by severe epilepsy, developmental delays, and autism. My other daughter is a teenager, which is almost more challenging.
By the time I finish describing the various factors that have come together to create the entity I call self, I will have written an entire autobiography rather than a single blog page. And, I won’t have addressed the second question: Why am I writing this blog?
How does one handle the grief, anger, and despair that frequently arise when watching a child suffer? Many parents I know rely on their faith in God and their local religious community to cope with the enormous burdens associated with raising a disabled child. As an atheist, I am not comforted by the idea that God has a bigger plan for me. Instead, I have found the practice of insight meditation (Vipassana) to be of great benefit. I created this blog as a means to deepen my exploration of the Buddha’s teachings and share my experiences with others affected by similar catastrophic life stressors.
May the benefit of my practice serve to alleviate the suffering of all beings, everywhere.
Metta, Angela
6 Comments
Will Keyser
Hi Angela, We’ve met at the Wimberley Sangha. Via the link that Anita sent, I learned a bit more about you. I have a 52 year-old daughter, who is a single mom with an Angelmans Syndrome daughter of 13. They live in Ireland. My daughter, Rebecca, is a meditator, though not in the Insight tradition. May I tell her about your site and maybe give her your contact? sincerely with metta, Will
Vipassana Momma
Will,
I’m glad Anita shared the link to my blog. In the Buddhist tradition of using the merit of one’s practice for the benefit of others, I have always hoped this blog would help other parents cope with their struggles. Of course, you may share it with your daughter. I will give you my email address at Sangha next week (or you can get it from Anita if you don’t plan to attend). It sounds like Rebecca and I have a lot in common.
Metta, Angela
Laurinda Ross
Just stumbled upon this through Insight Timer. I’m also a former UU and mom to a special needs teen. Love what I’ve read so far! Will be following along 🙂
Vipassana Momma
Thanks. I had a feeling there were other parents out there with similar backgrounds and experiences.
Anita
Thank you, Angela, for this blog. Last night at the Yellow Dog Sangha, one of our students who is a Clinical Psychologist, had read this blog. She had not idea what a good friend, and fellow meditator you were to both Rand & me. She said when she read the Five Remembrances she cried and will practice them. Randy had posted your blog and I just did the same. Your insights are most helpful to us all. With much gratitude
Vipassana Momma
Thank you. It is wonderful to hear that sharing my journey might be helping others, even after only one post. I’ll miss y’all tonight. Think of me during metta meditation.